Silence is golden not charming

Silence is such a nice weapon is you really know how to use it. Yeah. When I say silence is weapon the first thing that comes to mind is the silent treatment we are given by girls. :)

But you don't have to be a girl to know how to use silence. And anyway silent treatment is not the only way you would want to use it.

If you work out your expressions correctly, you can use facial expressions combined with silence to convey many things. Like when you don't know the answer, you can remain silent and give an expression that you know it but not going to tell. Off course, you should be using such tactics are your own risk. Common sense is something nobody can teach. You will have to learn to use our own head over here.

Other day we discussed that more you know less you speak. And in front of stupids, don't even utter a word. Shut up. Remain silent. Because anything you say, they will be using it display their stupidity that will not only piss you off further but will also provoke you. so don't fall into their trap. Counter them with your silence.

You can use silence to counter anger also. Remain silent when you are very angry. Because you don't know what you will say or do. Which eventually might be more damaging for you only. I am not sure if counting techniques work. But deep breathing should. If it worked for The Incredible Hulk quite likely it will work for you too.

The people who generally remain silent are much more unpredictable. The others can't judge what you are up to. And so you can use it easily to keep them guessing about your moves. Not just that. As a side effect of it, when you have something to say, others pay attention. Now you better do justice with their attention else you will be soon marked as dumb. Use you silence to clear your thoughts. Be sure of the point you wish to make. Few words will do the trick that long speeches can not.

Let me add a contradiction to what we just discussed. Though Silence is so useful, but if you can not woo people with it. For that you need to talk. And please talk sensible. If you blabber then you should read my previous few posts.

So basically silence is an interesting. Experiment with it. And let me also know what all you could achieve. And as of being charming, we will talk about it more in coming posts.

The more you know the less you need to say

This world is full of stupids. And specially those idiotic species who can blabber on any topic non-stop. Full confidence. As if they know it all. (What? I am one of them? Huh. As if I care if you say that).

But the more you know less you need to say. I will tell you why my blog doesn't come under that. But later.

How many times this occurred to you that you joined a conversation where someone is blabbering without knowing the facts. Do you correct that person? why take the pain. Two reasons. That person will never accept that he doesn't knows anything about what he is speaking. (Am not gender biased. Read He as She if you like it). If you correct him, he will straight take it on his ego. Making it a prestige issue. And will start cooking false reference which no one can verify. And the second reason being, why waste your time and energy on such stupids.

How to deal with them? Ignore them. The are all around us. We can't fight with each one of them. We might need their help someday. So keep silent. But if he is really pissing you off, then this is what you do. Guide him. Ask open ended questions and raise such topics which you know he has no clue. Slowly he will venture too far for everyone to see that what he really knows. This should give sufficient joy to you. And if you really don't care, then take him down as soon as he spits out something very lame. Everyone would be watching his recklessness and will be eager to join you in taking him down.

Now the reason why you and me don't belong to that category is that though we know and we like to tell. We don't force our self on others. When we don't know something, we say we don't know. We say what we know and make this clear that this is what WE think.

Deepest desires and worst fears will always come true

Things that we fear most always take shape right in front of us. So thus the most desired things too. What could be the relation between the two? I have a hunch that when we are fearing something so much, we are probably erasing the boundary between fear and desire. The subconscious mind is so much focused on that one thing that it probably forget it wants it to happen or does not wants it to happen. But then why it is so biased towards happening and not towards not happening.

I have a weird thought about it. When the consciousness of universe touches your consciousness it only gets a image of what it is on focused. Ignoring what you mind and circumstances want from it. The consciousness of universe is only looking for things it can make happen. That's probably why it is so biased towards happening.

Now the obvious question is can we tweak it? May be there is a way to do that. But I won't know it. How can you program your consciousness. I don't think we can want enough something that we really get it. It has to come from within.

Don't be cannon fodder

Last night we discussed the importance of updating the skills. I guess I missed to iterate on what will become of you if you miss updating your skills. Well, my dear friend, you become cannon fodder.

You become cheap labour and dispensable. In any industry, you are just a resource. If you want to feel better, I will call you human resource. Now, I am not going to feed you the same old vague story of moving up the value chain. What I am highlighting today is the Darwin's theory of Survival of the fittest. If you are fit. And skilled. You will survive. Its all about adapting with change and blah blah blah.

But what happened to our idea of last night, that keep learning the skills of your interest so that you move towards it. If I tell you to adapt and for sake of it acquire the skills to survive. You will end up just like any other blind mice in the rat race.

Learn at a brisk pace. And always run your own race.

Survival is must. So that goes without saying that you need to do what it takes to survive. But beyond that, don't just keep changing with time. Change the time. Be the Agent of Change.

Change the circumstances of that you don't just keep chasing your dreams. Change the hurdles so that you can realize the dreams and what always interested you. Off course, this never going to be easy. But the easy thing is to chase, not change.

So don't be that 80% that is fed to the cannons of difficulties so that the skilled 20% can then win the war. Be in that 20%, so that you go and win your war.

Skills are like money

Skills are like money. If the are not increasing, then they are depleting.

Which ever industry you are working in. Whatever domain. Skills are the best and mot important investment. They control your relevance. Your reputation. Your compensation. So never discount their importance. Updating skills is important and keep learning new skills is even more important.

Time generally leads the list of excuse we make for not updating our skills. Everyone gets the same 24 hours each day. If you are not getting enough time to update your skills then perhaps time management is the first skill you should go after. I am not scoping just the technical skills. Technical know-how is just a fraction of the skills you should be looking to acquire.

We often neglect the importance of soft skills. Communication skills are as vital as technicalities of your work. A job well done is not worth enough unless you are able to communicate the success to relevant people. We communicate through various media - voice conversations like debates, discussions, presentations, interviews, etc to written media like electronic mails, papers, articles, instant message conversations, etc. Each media warrants certain level of skills to be effective. so identifying the common modes of communications you use and acquire necessary skills to become effective with them.

Many times you are stuck in work which is not in agreement with your interests. Though it is very important to follow what interests you but many times either is not feasible or not as easy as said. Such circumstances need special handling. And off course extra hard work. If you are going through such scenario then what I would recommend for you is that you to focus not just towards the skills that interests you but keep upgrading on your work related skills too. Basically, you keep improving in the work you are doing besides keeping yourself up with the skills you wish to shift to. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.

Too proud to beg, too dumb to steal

Remember that It's probably me song? Too proud to beg and too dumb to steal. That is what most of us are. If you are one like that, what you do? You search the city for one friend and it's probably me. That's how song goes. But that doesn't makes it untrue.

Too proud to beg, too dumb to steal? - go look for friends.

The friend you should be looking for is yourself only. On one can help you until yourself is ready to help. Next you reach out to the wise ones. It is easier to point out other persons mistake. But more difficult is to empathise with them and come up with a better action for those situations. So go look out for friends who would do this for you.

With two friends already your side, what remains is the friend who would help you execute what your wise friend have told you to. This is the most tricky part. Be very sure of the person you are taking help from. Be very careful of false friends. One wrong pick here will screw you for ever.

So when your life is fixed. No need to beg. No need to steal. What you do? - Help others. Go help those who are like you were once.

Battery charging complete

In case you been wondering where have I disappeared. I was too tied up with work. And now when work had finished, I took a break to recharge. Feeling good about life again. We will be talking again soon.

My sincere thanks to all my friends and well wishers who not only kept me motivated to keep writing but also suggested ideas and topics. We will soon be discussing them as well.

Curing Mediocrity

We have seen various forms of cost cuttings in companies. From shortage of toiletries to laying off people. But I am yet to see a cutting of Mediocrity. In my opinion, it is the single largest reason for loses. Yet its seldom that something is done about it. Many managers seem to accept it as fact of life. I feel that its mediocrity saving mediocrity. If someone is tolerating mediocrity then its a reflection of its own mediocrity. Before you object that your hands are tied. I am ready to discount only those cases where you don't have authority. But if you have authority yet you tolerate mediocrity then its a clear proof of your own mediocrity.

It is like a virus. It tries to replicate itself. And if your defenses are not as strong, it gets into you. So how to counter it? What should you do when you face it. Before discussing what to do, let me warn you what not to do. Never confront it. The first rule of mediocrity is that you don't talk about it. Ya am copying that from fight club. But that doesn't make it wrong. If you tell such a person that he is mediocre, you will not only lose the trust of that person, but also any chance you had of curing him.

So when I meet such a person, first thing I would do is to remember my achievements. The honor, the pride I used to get each time I climbed those stage stairs at my school. That motivates me so much, I can never let mediocrity into myself. This is how we can prevent it. But how to cure it...in others.

Curing Mediocrity

Motivation doesn't work on losers attitude. That needs to be fixed first. I feel Kick and Carrot is a better option. You force that person to perform. And then reward him (consider him as him/her/it). You make it a cycle, till the person gets used to it. Then even if you remove the Kick, the person will get used to working hard. But before you release the pressure. Its important to motivate the person. So as to charge him enough to continue with hard work.

Sometimes a person is just too lazy. The spark is there. He will work hard but just too lazy to go that extra mile that will make him shine. I really don't know how to cure laziness because I am myself a lazy person. But I have a tweak for you. Give that person mundane task. That will bore him and then he will start thinking to counter it. Out of his laziness he would then try to find to cut short on the mundane stuff. He will. Remember he is hard working. Before you question me let me clear how a person is lazy yet hard working. Such person will work hard but would be quite lazy to tell anyone. He will continue to slog but won't do anything to change things. So you need just introduce to change. And make him comfortable with change. That's why I say, give him very boring task. Then he will try to change it. Make him initiate the changes. And when he reciprocates, reward him, motivate him. Never ever try Kick and Carrot on this person. You will only push him deeper in the quicksand of mediocrity.

Think New

Always think of something new; this helps you forget your last rotten idea.

                                                             Seth Frankel

Look at this way. The only way to erase old memories is to create new memory. Now its upto you; what kind of memories you create. Be careful, because they are the only thing that will stay with you....till the very end.